My excellently wonderful college professor Young would had taken an entire course on pornography, and, in summation of it, had remarked
"Visually, it was deadly dull, but intellectually it was fascinating!"
I love that, because who the hell says that about the pr0nz? Well, Soyoung elaborated her point. She said that people think of porn as stimulating, but, as a rule, everyone is just waiting for that one thing they like to see, traditionally refered to as the "money shot." But what the money shot is varies from person to person to some degree. For myself, personally, the money shot is a woman telling me to give her my money. She doesn't actually have to collect, but the very thought of it kills me with the little death.
"Words are wise men’s counters, they do but reckon by them; but they are the money of fools." -Thomas Hobbes, Leviathan.
I'm the fool that can actually enjoy the thought without always having to make good on the bargain. This is not to say I never have.
Before I got into the kink scene, I had a LOT of ideas about what content was problematic and why. This, of course, did not apply to MY kinks. I would rent a movie if ONE SCENE had a dominatrix in it, even as a joke, which was the standard role for a dominatrix in a 90s movie. It didn't matter, I wanted to see the actress dressed like that, imbibing the meaning of the ansamble. But, if it wasn't my kink, I had criticisms.
This is somewhat understandable, as most of the abuse in mainstream or notsomainstream media was directed from men to woman.Young, saint that she is, said "the question isn't whether a film is chauvenist because 99% of films of chauvenist, the question is does it problematize chauvenism?" Ok, so that liberated me with a new perspective.
Something changed again for me when I found the fetish scene. I made a friend with a real live woman. Ok, I'd done that before, but what I mean to say is a real live dominant woman. She whipped me a bit and then told me about subspace, that drunken state when you feel like you can take all the pain in the world and / or max out your credit cards for a girl, and you have to trust your top not to take advantage of that. There's also topspace, where the top feels somewhat drunk. Both are worth looking out for, as playing drunk is rarely a grand idea.
Anywho, this woman ran away, and came back holding something behind her arms. I figured it for a flogger. But then she started to explain what aftercare was. Aftercare is the intimacy two (or more?) people share when a scene is over, and, to my newfound friend, this was best expressed through "cookies and cuddles."
So we snuggles on the torture rack and coated it with crumbs. I was in awe of the fact that a domme could be so sweet, so convivial, so nurturing and kind.
The fact that she could only masturbate to silence of the lambs was completely besides the point.
Note: Actually I think it was Red Dragon. Please bear in mind I'm a fiction writer at heart. Anyhow, don't believe everything you read.
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